Left Justified
FeedsOne of Those Days…
∞ | October 30, 2004 | Category: General
Late Thursday night, my housemates and I returned home to discover a horrid stench. Upon inspection of the backyard we were confronted by what could only be described as a flood of waste water and human excrement, caused by the roots of a large eucalypt tree in the adjacent (council-owned) property.
Fan-bloody-tastic. My yard was covered in the neighbourhood’s sewerage.
First thing Friday morning I headed to the local shops to get massive amounts of kitty litter and disinfectant in an attempt to control the flood and the smell until the plumber arrived. While turning on to the main road near my house I managed to dislocate my left shoulder with a very loud pop
while my right hand was out the window — I had been giving a wave of thanks to the driver who just let me in. Having been awake for less than ten minutes, I was a little bewildered to say the least. As the car slowly cruised towards a stationary van in the next lane, I bit the bullet and yanked down on the wheel with my left hand; popping my shoulder back into place with an even louder sound than the initial damage.
Today I had the enviable job of shovelling up a grand total of 60 litres of kitty litter and a whole-hell-uv-a lot of what we’ll call ‘debris’. I have learnt something from this experience though — after 22 years of brushing my teeth with my left hand, I’ve discovered that I make a hilarious mess when I have to do it with my right.
Have Your Say
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It is good to be positive.
But sometimes, shoving a bucket-sized cork up your neighbors butt feels so much more satisfying. Even if it’s not really helping anyone.
That’s brilliant. Seems better than what happened to me last weekend… Broke my pinky… At least for me it was my left hand (I’m right handed).
….
i dont know which is worse. having to pop your shoulder back in or cleaning up all that litter. im lucky i’ve never fractured or dislocated a bone.
You need a vacation I think:)
You know, Beavis and Butthead had a similar experience. They tried to sell the waste as oil…black gold…Texas tea. Maybe you can try the same!
Yep, a holiday is well overdue.
*sigh*
Todd: That’s just sick… I like it
Nice one Will. Wonder if a car built to run on Unleaded petrol will run on it…
Also, what’s with the icon in Andrew’s comments?
Also, what’s with the icon in Andrew’s comments?
So you don’t think I deserve an icon on my own site?
Nothing quite like a bunch of horrible situations piled on top of each other to make life exciting! I hope the mess has been cleaned up by now.
Three words…
Eeewww….Ouch!….and ARGH!!!